Earlier this week I was video taping a discussion at Howard University’s Drew Hall for the follow-up to the award winning film, “What Black Men Think”. As a result of the film several side discussions were started. During one of these discussions a young lady explained why it was necessary for women in general and black women specifically to have a wall up to protect themselves from men. She further went on to explain how a woman needs to have multiple layers that will protect and shield her, thus saving her from the hurt and pain that I assume can be caused by men.
My thought on this… that this way of thinking is total garbage. Since I was taping I couldn’t jump into the conversation but I was burning up inside to get right in. I think what some women don’t realize is that “The Wall” is what could drive some good brothers away. Does this wall stop you from ever being hurt in relationships…. no. Then what good is it? Back in my dating days I really looked at the wall as a bunch of stuff that I had to break through because of the actions of some previous dude. Sometimes I felt like breaking through and sometimes I didn’t. You have no idea how high some of these walls can be.
Instead of building up a wall like an impenetrable fortress why not just learn from life’s lessons and choose not to go down that path again. This doesn’t mean holding past pain against the next person and making them prove to you that they’re not the guy or girl that ran all over you in the past. Why not give them the benefit of the doubt and don’t assume that they will mess up until they do. Just because your last two boyfriends cheated on you don’t assume that all men cheat because that third guy could be the husband you’ve been waiting for. After your last two girlfriends ditched you don’t run around claiming all women are gold-diggers because the next one you meet could be your wife.
Take “The Wall” down or else you might block the blessing instead of blocking the pain.
BMWK family, what is your experience with “The Wall”? Is it good or bad? Am I totally off with thinking this way? If you say yes I’ll delete your comments… nah just kidding, let me know. lol
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