I’ve officially been married for 7 months as of December 20th. I’ll admit it hasn’t been 100% marital bliss, but I am most certainly in love with my husband. We are not only life partners but we’re also best friends. We’ve been through a lot physically, emotionally, and financially together, and I wouldn’t trade him for anything or anyone in the world. There are times when I get a little down, as I did not expect to go through the multiple hardships we’ve experienced in such a short amount of time, and I’d be lying if I said I never thought “what if.” What if I didn’t get married?
Hubby and I met young and we’re still young. We briefly broke up when I was in college and he was at his first full time job. While I was obviously devastated, I had just started to pull myself together and gather up a new focus. I ended up dropping out of college the following year for a variety of reasons, but I believe if we stayed broken up, I probably would’ve stayed in school. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming my drop-out on him. However, I would’ve used the fuel from the break up to focus 100% on school. I would’ve gave my all, and went hard on the books, putting all my free time into studying. I probably would’ve been finished by now and had my degree in public relations, and be seeking a full-time job.
If I didn’t get married, I’d more than likely still be living at home or just now seeking a place of my own. We moved in together last summer, as we were taking our relationship “to the next level,” preparing for an engagement and eventual marriage. Living at home with my family wasn’t bad and saved me a lot of money. However, when you’re the baby in the house, your family does tend to treat you as such. Not that I do a bunch of things living with my husband, but I definitely wouldn’t have had the freedom to go out when I wanted to, take unexpected trips, or have my friends over a lot.
I’ve also realized that since my husband and I got really serious in our relationship, I lost quite a few friends. There’s times when I get down about it, and there’s times when I’m okay. These weren’t associates that I’d occasionally talk to in passing, but instead, girlfriends who I hung with on a regular basis, were close with for years, and grew to love. Several have stated that once I became involved with my husband, our friendship grew strained. I do miss them and wish we would have stayed in touch.
Now do I have regrets about marrying my husband? Absolutely not. I still believe he is the best thing that has happened to me thus far. My schooling was delayed, but we’re both now going back to school, encouraging each other. It’s not easy maintaining a household but we’re doing it together, and making ends meet. It’s also a plus that we get to see each other everyday and come and go as we please (even though we’re homebodies). I certainly miss my friends but when it comes down to it, I feel I made the right decision. This is the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, who loves me unconditionally and I love him the same. In my opinion, if I lost their friendship for choosing love, I would’ve lost it another way eventually.
I’m learning this early in our marriage that there will be good times and there will be rough times. Heck, it’s in the vows! I didn’t know they’d be so soon, but I’m not running for the hills. I’m running into the arms of my spouse. These things are bringing us closer, and teaching us how to work together. Our love can’t be replaced by a degree, savings, and friends, especially when these are all things we can accomplish in our future together. I’m glad our breakup was temporary, I’m glad he asked for my hand in marriage, and I’m so glad we tied the knot. I can’t picture anyone else I’d rather go through trials and tribulations with.
BMWK, have you ever thought about how life would be different if you hadn’t gotten married? Share with us how you know you made the right choice!
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