Comments on: We're Married, Not Dead

By: Sadie, Sadie married lady

Sadie, Sadie married lady — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 17:16:00 +0000

great article and topic! My husband and I acknowledge when we see somebody that we find attractive. We even will joke about it with each other. (Comments about celebrities – “Your celebrity fantasy is on”) I find it harmless. We tend not to say it about people we know. Although I know which of my friends my husband finds attractive and I’m sure he does for me also. As long as you know the difference between fantasy and reality and stay committed and invested in your marriage, I think it is o.k. to acknowledge another’s beauty.

By: Crystal Blissfully-Married Fow

Crystal Blissfully-Married Fow — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 16:20:00 +0000

I like this article, I truly believe one, you have to be secure in your relationship. Two, confidence in you own beauty and self worth, and three, please remember you are human!! Marriage is a social tradition, not a natural human instinct, but mating is! We choose to get married, but our animal instinct to mate with the opposite sex is a natural feeling as we know what we find attractive and alluring. Be careful of your actions as they can bring about the very thoughts in your mind to reality (thoughts, words, actions) monitor your impluses and disicpline yourself in behavior in regards to such matters. Our intellect and ability to rationalize as human is what separates us over other animals in the kingdom and that is what makes us different. We dont have to act on impulse. I love my husband and though I may notice ”A fine man”…what I have invested in marriage…LOVE, RESPONISBILITY, SECURITY, SAFETY, and ADMIRATION is what keeps us from going too far.

By: mochazina

mochazina — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 18:51:00 +0000

1) D. We recognize that God’s creations are beautiful, as well as the intellect of some to present their person in an attractive manner. It also opens the door to discuss styles and trends that we like so that we will have tips on how to better appeal to each other.

2) A. Honesty breeds trust. If our expressions of admiration cross the line, then we are honest with each other about how that affects us. But to completely deny their existence is dishonest and leaves dark shadows for evil to breed. We have to be free to be ourselves in our marriage, while understanding that the goal is to build a healthy union, and healthy unions cannot consist of lies and deceit.

3) C. Again, honesty is the key. If we know the other has a crush (real or celebrity) we know how to best hold them accountable. Not to bash each other over the head, or turn into green-eyed monsters, but to simply communicate and allow us space to be human, but to also choose to love each other and honor our marriage. Truth is, that time will always allow crushes to fizzle, so there’s no need to hide, and usually simply speaking on the topic takes half of the appeal from it, so it’s less tempting.

All that said, we’re not going around boasting of every nice looking person we’ve come across everyday. As noted, that often breeds a certain distrust. We spend the majority of our time focused on each other. But if someone just happens to catch our eyes, we acknowledge it and move on.

By: mochazina

mochazina — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 18:45:00 +0000

3) C. Again, honesty is the key. If we know the other has a crush (real or celebrity) we know how to best hold them accountable. Not to bash each other over the head, or turn into green-eyed monsters, but to simply communicate and allow us space to be human, but to also choose to love each other and honor our marriage. Truth is, that time will allow crushes to fizzle, so there’s no need to hide, and usually simply speaking on the topic takes half of the appeal from it, so it’s less tempting.

By: Roni Idom

Roni Idom — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:03:00 +0000

Interesting post. I will admit, in our earlier days, my husband (then boyfriend) was really insecure. He had been in relationship with girls who said things to him like “looks arent everything” and other demeaning things of that nature… He had a very highen nature when it came to me expressing how I felt about other guys. So announcing ”he fine” is not something that has ever happened… Nor will it ever happen. It’s just not appropriate. Now that we’re older and more rooted I guess I still have Blinders on. I mean I see guys and go, ehh… My husband looks better… Lol. Now of course everyone wont agree with that, but hey, it’s my opinion. We dont comment on the opposite sexes physical… There’s jus no need. And like you said “My mission in my marriage is to always make him feel good, and if my pointing out every other attractive man I see doesnt fit into that mission, I wont do it.” I completely agree!