A while back I did an interview where I mentioned that you needed to have a plan before going into a marriage. The show host asked me to elaborate, and I went into a few things, but wanted to talk about it more here. Some people I’ve talked to that are experiencing real relationships problems seem to have those issues due to lack of a clear plan up front. You know the old saying, “If you fail to plan, you can plan to fail.”
When you enter into a relationship with someone, you are both coming from two different backgrounds, two different histories and two totally different points of view. Before your heart takes you away, you need to sit down and have a discussion to make sure the plan you have is the same one or similar to what they are thinking. Before you get married, here are four conversations that you must have:
Do you plan on having any? How many do you want? If one person already has kids are they willing to have more? Seems simple enough but I've seen people fail to address this. Despite not having this conversation, they get into a marriage and are ready to leave because their spouse doesn't want additional children. Also don't assume that your potential spouse will change their mind later. When it comes to a topic like children you need to assume that what they say will be their final decision and deal with the situation from that point of view.
BMWK what other topics should you plan on? How about where to live? Will someone stay at home to raise the kids? There are plenty of others, lets add more.
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