Comments on: Is It Our Duty to Correct, Advise or Discipline Other People's Children?

By: Tiya

Tiya — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 03:03:32 +0000

Bravo PurpleJeli,

More of us need to follow in your footsteps. You are absolutely correct.

By: Tiya

Tiya — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 02:59:00 +0000

Kita,
Your comment is usually what I hear. This is the exact reason a lot of us don’t step up and challenge or correct these children.

By: Tiya

Tiya — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 02:56:49 +0000

LaMont, it isn’t always the greatest situation (if a parent is bothered by someone correcting their child). But in the end doing the rightt thing is the right thing to do.

By: Tiya

Tiya — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 02:53:51 +0000

Great comment, love it!

By: Tiya

Tiya — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 02:44:33 +0000

It is unfortunate and I know this is exactly why more people don’t intervene.

By: Tiya

Tiya — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 02:38:52 +0000

Rosemary,
I completely agree. I grew up in the same kind of neighborhood.

By: Tiya

Tiya — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 02:35:34 +0000

Ronnie,

I agree. That’s the biggest difference from how we were raised. There are more parents who will defend their children or not be as bothered by certain behaviors today. In the past, all adults seemed to be on the same page. If a teacher said you did something, you did it and were going to get punished for it. Today, certain parents will go back and forth and defend the child no matter what.

By: PurpleJeli

PurpleJeli — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 19:19:18 +0000

I’ve done this on a few occassions when I was truly riled up/pissed off about the issue. Have I gotten into a yelling match once or twice on the Metro? I sure have! But I’ve always walked away with the feeling that I HAD to get loud so the kid could really hear me. Most young kids these days think they can “punk” or shame adults into being quiet about what they see and many have followed suit but the moment you get (down) to their level and show you can still hold your own, most of them actually get it. Many are afraid their friends will call them soft if they don’t continue the shenanigans but deep down, those same kids actually appreciate what you do (at least once I have stopped a kid from doing something they didn’t really want to do but were embarrassed to tell their friends no). Remember, pride is not your friend and if you are too prideful to step outside your comfort zone to help another person becuase you are more worried about the consequences than you are not truly contributing to this society. Right now we are struggling because our kids are struggling. Long gone are the days when everyone in the neighborhood helped raise the kids, we are more insular and isolated now. But…… if these kids are our future, someone better do something NOW or else we are ALL headed for some serious trouble!!!

PS – you should always be smart about how and what situations you intervene in. I’m not saying you should try to stop someone from robbing another person, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with asking a young person to stop cursing in front of your baby or even asking that they get up from their seat so a needy person can have it.

By: kita b.

kita b. — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 21:49:00 +0000

Honestly it is not my responsiblity to raise someone else’s child. I have a hard enough time raising my own. However, when we publicly see inappropriate behavior such as vandalism or assault we have a duty to alert the police or the child’s guardian.

Kids are so disrespectful of adults and you don’t know if they have guns, knives etc. Go out there and play “captain save a kid” if you want to and end up in the E.R! No thanks I’ll pass.

By: LaMont

LaMont — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 14:37:39 +0000

I usually don’t like to get involved with things unless it’s absolutely necessary. However, the more I think about it, the more unsettled I become with situations like this. When I take that kind of approach, I’m being the wrong kind of selfish — if a child’s doing something that’s a danger to them, and I don’t tell the child, my actions (or lack thereof) communicates that I approve the behavior or I don’t care about the behavior; either way, it’s wrong. Children don’t have all of the information — they need for someone to guide them in the right way. If a parent goes off on me for trying to steer a child in the right direction, it’s probably a conflict that needs to happen anyway — it’s probably a tell-tell sign of a deeper issue that needs to be brought to the forefront. And guess what? Deferring conflict by turning a blind eye or a deaf ear because it makes one uncomfortable can feed the corrupt root that may eventually harvest someone getting killed.

By: Pat

Pat — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 02:22:38 +0000

If the children/teenagers/young adults won’t respect themselves, I make sure that they respect me. That means if they’re cursing around me, I’ve asked them to watch their language. If too much PDA is happening in a public area (ie: disney world line), I’ve asked the couple to chill out and to keep it G rated. I keep my tone civil and I usually smile, but the point is usually understood loud and clear.
I speak up because I want my children to know that their rights are just as important as those around them. It’s OK to speak up and if not me, then who?

By: Lis

Lis — Mon, 18 Jun 2012 19:06:37 +0000

I, personally, don’t intervene in other people’s children lives, simply because parents around here don’t want anyone telling their children anything. It would be a lot better if people could, sensibly, intervene to help our youth, but, sadly, things aren’t like they were long ago. When I subbed a pre-k class, there was a little boy there who kept cursing the teacher out. When the teacher disciplined him, the mother came and told her not to say or do anything to her child. So, he showed his tail, constantly, because he knew mom would come to the rescue and defend his awful behavior. Parents are getting younger and younger, so the generations are getting weaker and weaker, unfortunately. Our youth need us, but I won’t risk it, unless I really have to.

By: Rosemary

Rosemary — Mon, 18 Jun 2012 17:08:06 +0000

I grew up in a neighborhood where it was generally taken for granted that all adults are responsible for all children. It wasn’t just about discipline, it was about caring and safety as well. Today it seems that people are less willing to take responsibility, or that they are discouraged from doing so. Some parents will defend any ridiculous, shameful, or even destructive thing their child does because they think that they are somehow being supportive of the child. But others will welcome the responsible intervention of other adults because they recognize that we all need a little help now and then and that our children need to understand that what they do matters in the community as well as for their own well being.

By: Ronnie_bmwk

Ronnie_bmwk — Mon, 18 Jun 2012 15:59:20 +0000

I definitely think we need to speak up when we see children doing something that is clearly wrong. But I say clearly purposely because every parent is different ..and what is wrong to me may not be wrong to them in some cases.

There are things that my kids are not allowed to do that other people allow their kids to do (i.e. – post on facebook, post videos on youtube, and say crazy things on those social media sites.)

For my own nieces and nephews and close friend’s kids…I am more apt to say something directly. But just last month one my kid’s friends did something on-line that I thought was inappropriate. I just made her mom aware of it. She thanked me..but she dealt with it the way she saw fit..which was different from what I would have done…and that’s ok.

I saw a kid damaging property in our neighborhood once..I told him to stop..he cussed at me..I told his mom..she did nothing. But I did feel that was clearly wrong enough for me to speak up directly to that child.