Dana Adam Shapiro, an Oscar-nominated documentarian, author of “The Every Boy” and ironically unmarried, released his latest piece, You Can Be Right (or You Can Be Married) this Tuesday, Sept. 4. The book includes interviews and stories from those of failed relationships and explores the reasons behind divorce. This week, Shapiro spoke alongside therapist Argie Allen on the TODAY Show about learning from the mistakes of divorced couples and what it takes to make a modern day marriage work.
The title, Shapiro explained, came from someone he interviewed who’s grandmother spoke of fighting productively and being fair when arguing in a relationship. He believes that people who cheat are often unhappy at home, but it’s an individual’s responsibility to let their partner know how and why they’re not happy. Allen adds that many couples “fail to protect quality time” and get so caught up in life that they lose connection with each other.
“I think the key to any relationship is really taking responsibility. If you’re unhappy really expressing that and saying I’m unhappy because of X, Y, or Z and let’s try to work on it,” Shapiro says. “A lot of times people are seeking validation elsewhere because they feel unloved, unseen, unsexy and they become very vulnerable to the attention of other people. I do think a lot of times they are unhappy at home.”
BMWK– In your experience what have you found to be a source or cause of divorce? What obstacles have you overcome in your own marriage to prevent divorce from occurring?
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