When I became a single mother, someone laughed and told me that I now had a baby daddy. The old school song, “That’s Just My Baby Daddy” played in my head. I pictured a man wearing a “wife beater” undershirt, drinking a 40 ounce bottle of beer, and yelling, “I ain’t paying some chick child support for her to get her hur and nails did, pay her utility bills, and have some other dude watch premium cable on my TV.” Yes, that is the ultimate stereotype and the majority of single parents I know don’t have any of those characteristics.
However, we do say a lot of similar phrases. So, I enlisted comedian Jason Russ to write a list of things single moms say. He’s a part of the team who brought you the viral video Sh!t Bougie Black Girls Say. He was the hilarious man, or should I say woman, in the blond wig. Now, he’s swapping single moms’ stress for smiles.
“Gurl, I’m so tired!”
How many mothers have said this while talking to her girlfriends on the phone? I remember my mother calling me on her lunch and telling me that when she got off work, she would go grocery shopping. Later, she would come home, take her shoes off, sit down and never go to the store. The average day can make any person tired beyond belief. But imagine if your day included waking yourself up for work (which is tough enough), waking your child up and getting them ready for school (which makes waking yourself up a walk in the park), and having a long day at work, with the reward of coming home to a child with more energy than Sonic the Hedge Hog. My mother had a good solution to this: she would tell me to go play and lock me out of the house. As a child, I thought I had the best mother in the world, only to find out that this was her way to get the rest that she needed and deserved. I was never put on punishment. The thought of putting me on punishment was punishment to my mother. There is no better joy to a mother than being around their child and being able to nurture them and see them grow. But every now and then, mama has to send baby boy away to a two-week summer camp for some me time when she says, “Gurl, I’m so tired!”
“She bet’ not be around my child.”
By now most of you know that moms are very protective of their children. We also know that mama didn’t make that baby on her own, which gives me the perfect opportunity to plug in single fathers. Yes, single fathers, the most over populated creature in America. As we know, daddy got a life too. And with judges typically granting the majority of custody to mommy, dad has more time to go out, and he doesn’t have to hire a babysitter to do so. With this social life, the father usually lands at some happy hour where he meets his next relationship –someone you might not be so fond of. The thought of your child being around this new person can make your blood boil. There could be no feelings whatsoever for the father, but once you meet his new girlfriend, Sha-nay-nay, you wish they had a restraining order for these cases.
What about another situation when your child’s father drops your kid over his mother’s house that is known to give the kids shots of Hennessy to get them to go to bed early? In these situations, you will generally hear the phrase, “She better not be around my child!” Who he brings into our children’s lives is very critical to their development. Once your little princess builds a strong relationship with Sha-nay-nay you better believe she will master the phrase, “Oh no he didn’t!”
“I don’t do baby mama’s.”
The pot calling the kettle black would be an understatement in this situation. But, the thought of dating someone with kids can sometimes scare even a team of Avengers away. Picture the Incredible Hulk having to balance time between being a father to his kid and a loving boyfriend to his woman, all while trying to get good reports from his job, which is to save the world. That’s enough stress to turn any human into a 20 foot tall green crime fighting machine.
The life of a single mother is tough as it is, and the thought of potentially dating a man who has “Tami from Basketball Wives” as a baby mama can add another level of stress that you are not willing to deal with. The dating life of a single mother has challenges. Single mothers must watch who they bring into their families’ lives. Is he a good man? Is he good with kids? Will he be a positive male figure in my child’s life? These questions go into deep consideration when choosing a mate. There is a certain level of stress that can come with dating a man with children, just as there are with childless men. Men with no children can be used to dating women without children. This may mean they are accustomed to a woman’s full attention and the thought of sharing time with your child can put a mother in uncompromising situations. But a dating a man who is having a hard time sharing you with your kids isn’t that bad I guess??? It could be worse. You could be dating a mama’s boy!!
“My baby is so smart.”
There is no bigger cheerleader for a child than you know who – their mama! To see your child perform on any stage at any level can bring out the most obnoxious screams and cheers that will make any childless person never want to be your friend. A mother’s support is like no other. When a two month old begins to string sounds together, you always see their mom with the biggest smile on her face followed by, “My baby talk so good.” Or how about, when their child is sitting on the bench at a sporting event while the way more talented players play…… inevitably you’ll hear them say: “Put my baby in the game!”
The point is, mothers truly love their children and want nothing but the best for them. Whether it is seeing good grades on report cards or scoring a touchdown when all of the lesser talented players are in the game, mothers love it all. So whether a child is the smartest or not, it is a mother’s job to support her child through encouragement and love so that her child knows that in everything positive that they attempt in life……..mama’s proud.!!
Want Jason to make you smile everyday? You can crack up if you log onto http://www.jrussthecomic.com
Hey single moms, what saying or phrase do you repeat over and over again?
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