There comes a time every marriage when it’s necessary to tell a tiny little lie. Be it to safeguard your spouse’s feelings, or to not “blow a big surprise,” or just keeping the peace, I think we’ve all done it. Although my cover will be COMPLETELY blown when he reads this, I wanted to share a few of the false statements that I tell my husband, some more often than others. Here are 7 lies I tell my husband:
1. I had a coupon.
Because I actually do use them, let’s say 90% of the time, sometimes this one flies right out of my mouth, without thought. It doesn’t matter whether I have one or not, he still always gives me the same look that asks, “Do you really need this anyway?” I don’t make big purchases without him anyway, so whether he knows the truth or not, I don’t think he really cares.
2. I’m OK.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that this is a lie when you can see smoke coming from my ears. I’m mumbling under my breath and my nostrils are on permanent flare, but yet I utter those two words, “I’m OK.” Yes, its an obvious lie, but I tend to think of it as a safety measure and that it’s in the best interest of everyone that I say it.
3. I’m a big girl, I can take it.
I am the most sensitive soul known to man. When I follow an intricate recipe to make a special gourmet meal, I really want to know the truth, but deep down inside I can’t handle the truth. I also say this when I ask him the dreaded question, “Does this make me look fat?” I mean really, what is he supposed to say? Whatever he says will probably lead me back to lie #2.
4. Go ahead. I don’t mind. You can have the last piece.
Ugh! This is a hard one. I have so much to prove being raised as only child. I’m naturally a selfish and self-indulging person. So, when we’re sharing a decadent dessert after dinner, I really and truly want that last piece, but I choose to take the high road and offer it to seem polite and basically, not-so-greedy.
5. I love your friends.
I am really going to park this one right here, although I do like quite a few of them. Next!
6. I don’t know where it is.
In my opinion, my husband is a hoarder, for a lack of a better term. He is a man of a certain age that still has term papers around our house as well as sweaters from the same era. I know that by donating a few things of his [to charity] that I am helping the greater good.
7. We’re fine. Don’t worry about us.
Whether he’s out with friends, or missed the last leg of his flight home from a business trip, I use this one out of necessity, as well as a courtesy. I don’t want my husband worried about me and the kids while he’s away. I want him to enjoy himself if it’s for pleasure or concentrate on his work if it’s for business.
As you can see, I have been quite transparent by writing this and I’m hoping that this will free my soul and be therapeutic for me. Again, I’m pretty sure that my cover is blown once my husband reads this, but maybe this is what our marriage and other marriages actually need… a chance to just come clean.
BMWK — Do you ever tell an “untruth” to your spouse?
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