TIPS FOR WOMEN
I wrote this March 2006. This information was born out of the frustrations I felt as I watched family members and friends make the same mistakes over and over as to how they dealt with men. Also, at the time I wrote this, I had been a father (for the first time) only for 9 months to a beautiful baby girl. I thought about the challenges she would face when she started dating. WARNING - I am a direct and honest person. You may be offended by some of what you read below. I love women. I think they are the best thing on earth. I am concerned about how our young women (some older ones as well) relate to men. This past Sunday my wife, daughter and I were at IHOP. I watched this young lady (apparently with her little girl) sitting across the booth from these two guys. The two guys befriended the little girl. I could see clear as day that these guys really did not care about this little girl. The goal was simply to eventually get this young woman somewhere with her clothes off and her feet behind her ears. I feel this way because when she walked into the restaurant I heard one guy say “look at them tits.” The other guy turned around and said “damn!!”
The guys flattered the little girl and then starting flirting with the young lady. We were there for about 35 minutes. At the end of the meal the young woman gave her phone number (I don’t know if it was her real number or not) to two total strangers. I may be wrong, but I think the tips below will minimize your chances of being hurt, sick, and pregnant with no husband or on the evening news dead.
•Respect yourself and demand respect. A man will treat you how you allow him to treat you.
•Have your stuff together, i.e. your finances, job and education. A man can smell low self-esteem better than a shark can smell blood in the water.
•Never give out your phone number. Take his number. Block your number because as soon as you call him, he knows your number.
•Better yet, why not give him your email address. You can easily block\control who you receive emails from.
•Meet in public places.
•Drive your own car and park in the back. He does not need to know what type of car you drive or your tag number.
•Bring your own money on the date and a fully charged cell phone.
•Let at least two friends know where you are going and the name of your date.
•Ask lots of questions. Know who you are dealing with. Has he been married before, does he have children?
•Research the guy online at the sex offender websites.
http://www.fbi.gov/hq/cid/cac/registry.htm
•If you have children wait until you are really serious about this person before exposing him to your child. Don’t bring so many men around your child so that he or she feels frequently abandoned.
•If you are going to have sex with him, wait until you have known him for at least 90 days.
•Demand\require a recent, valid report from a health clinic showing that he has no STD’s…ask for another report every 90 days.
•Always use protection.
•If you start thinking about a long-term relationship or possibly more, please watch how he interacts with his friends and family. Definitely watch how he interacts with his parents. How he treats these people can be a great indicator as to how he will treat you.
•I know women will say “how about the man, what are his responsibilities?”
I say:
•How many young men have you seen with a child standing at the bus stop in the rain or when it’s cold or hot as hell outside???
•How many men are in shelters for battered men?
•How many men have complications during child birth?
•How many men die during childbirth?
•How many men do you see standing in long lines applying for public assistance?
•How many straight, never had a blood transfusion, non drug using, monogamous women are dying of aids? They got sick somehow. Perhaps from that man that they really did not know, but had sex with him any way because he was fine or cute or they did not want to loose him to some other idiot.
•There is absolutely no difference between infected bodily fluids from a cute\fine man and an average Joe with a beer gut. Have some self-respect, keep your clothes on. If you need help, go to the home depot, buy some rope and tie it around your knees.
•After he is done probing your body, money and refrigerator; often times the man will throw you aside like a used tissue. He is off to wreck some other fools life.
I know it can be hard; men (women as well) can be very crafty. However, you must exercise self respect, control and discipline. I went to high school (grades 9-12) in Hawaii. Here I was a teenager with hormones going crazy, beautiful women walking around with bathing suits on (even in grocery stores) and offering themselves to me. I turned them down. I was told “you must be gay.” Of course I wasn’t gay. I just listened to what my parents told me plus I thought about my future.
My parents said, “One mistake with a girl can have life long consequences. Before you do something stupid, ask yourself do you want to be forever linked to this girl?” Also, I had a Trans-Am with a big engine that required refilling often. I was only making $25 a week cutting grass. How in the hell was I going to provide for a baby and put gas in my car on $25 a week. I already had a baby and that was my car.
True story and then I’ll get off of my soapbox:
I use to work at Goodwill. I met a nice young lady there that was trying to get her life together. She was 25 years old and a single mother. She and her daughter lived in a shelter. She walked with a very pronounced limp. She told me about a party she went to six years prior. She met a guy there, thought he was cute. They went out outside behind the club. Leaning against a tree, she tried drugs for the first time in her life. The guy then started putting his hands up her dress. She told him to stop, but he did not. After all of the drugs she could not put up much of a fight. He raped her. She ran away and out into the street and was hit by a car.
The morale of the story: we all make mistakes, but we have to constantly be extra careful because we never know when that one mistake will impact us the rest of our lives.
You are a total fool if you do not take care of yourself…bottom line.
John L. Jones
johnlovescomputers@gmail.com