My husband and I have been married for 5 years and together for 15. We were high school sweethearts.
We have an 11 year old and I am pregnant with our second baby. Before we were married we did a lot of things together. He spent a lot of time with us. Once we were married he started to stay out all night or coming in very late. It's all pretty much the same to me...disrespectful! In the beginning of our marriage I was devastated, depressed hurt you name it. I didn’t have the confidence to get over him and ask him to leave. Mainly because I couldn’t believe that this was the same person. Anyways he would come home after being out all night and tell me some bogus story about something happening to his car, he got locked up, he fell asleep over a friends. You name it I have heard it. Yes, I know they are lies because they are highly detailed and exaggerated. So at first I would cry, blow his phone up (he wouldn’t answer) and was just a mess. I went back to times of saying " I would never deal with my husband doing xyz" Boy is it different when you are in those shoes. As time went on I stopped asking where he was, didn’t call or anything because I was tired of him lying. I have told him how I felt about him not coming home, I have pleaded and everything. My daughter at 11 is ready for him to leave because she says “mommy you deserve so much better”. I have stayed through cheating, you name it. Now 4 days before our 5th anniversary I am completely fed up and tired. For the past 5 days, he will come home late, call me and say I’ll see you in a few minutes then come home change and leave back out. Be gone all night. Yesterday he said that he would see me later this was at about 1pm. I didn’t hear anything from him all night. This morning I woke up he wasn’t there. I sent him a text saying “Don’t call me with stupid excuses and lies. This $hit is gone too far. Since your a$$ feels the need to stay out all night and not come home leave me the f%&* alone I am sick of this. You can’t spend time with us but you can with others. I don’t want to talk to you so leave me the hell alone. Evidently you feel whats out there is better so stay there. I deserve a whole lot better. And I mean don’t email, text or call me I am sick of you and your bulls#$%.” Since then he has been calling me, emailing and texting. I have not answered any of it. I can’t take another day of this. Not only is it disrespectful to me and my daughter, my son that I am expecting needs a better model of a man than this. I am not afraid of raising my children alone in the least bit. They will not want for anything because I am the bread winner in the family. I am totally independent. So other than me just loving him and wanting him to be apart of raising out kids there is no other reason I see to keep him here.
Blackandmarriedwithkids.com Forums » Love and Relationships
The tolerance for staying out all night is over!!!!!
(4 posts)-
Posted 11 months ago #
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I went thru this & more with my 1st husband so my heart is heavy for you. I pray that you will find the strength to do what is best for you and your family.
Posted 10 months ago # -
I am currently in a similar situation. I feel for you. After many years of my husband's erratic behavior, I found that my husband is suffering from narcisstic personality disorder(some of the things you mention sound similar). If you can, read up on this topic. It has helped me to know that I am not alone and there are things that can be done to help you to leave or help the relationship if you decide to stay. I am a firm believer that God can change any situation. I will be praying for you.
Posted 10 months ago # -
Dealing with some of that now and have in the past also. My self esteem dropped so low. But at least you have other options right now. I don't at the moment. I'm working on it but with no job I can't leave. I have no where to go. He's got me right where he wants me and is taking full advantage. I used to let it tear me down but now I feel so much better about myself. I would like things to change. Maybe they will before I decide to leave. No one deserves to be treated like this.
Posted 10 months ago #
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